Swe Bar Supports War Against Domestic Violence - The Walk

We have good news! Swe bar would be supporting the LWTZE's War Against Domestic Violence in October.

Swe bar is located within City Mall shopping center and it’s a quiet spot where you can have lunch and business dates. This bar is transformed into a classy club/lounge in the evening with a gathering of young and upwardly mobile professionals. Swe bar is also cum sport bar and is equipped with plasma tvs and multi-media projector to enable their clients enjoy unlimited viewing of English premiership, champions league matches and other sports.

War Against Domestic Violence - The Walk for the 13th of October, 2012

LWTZE Concept led by revered TV personality Olayinka 'Yeancah' Adamu would be taking her 'War against domestic violence' project to the streets of the Lagos, Nigeria. Come on the 13th of October, supporters and advocates against Domestic violence would flock the streets of Lagos Island metropolis. The walk would kick off from Adetokunbo Ademola where celebrities, activists, advocates and concerned Nigerians would step out to bring to the consciousness of Nigerians, West Africans and the world the evil in the existent violence at home either inflicted on children, women and men.

 Olayinka 'Yeancah' Adamu is one of the pioneering VJ and ambassador for the pan-Africa music channel - Soundcity TV and director of LWTZE (Lady with the Zoom Effect) Concept, a Registered Limited Liability Company that is into Events Management and Brand Promotions. The Company believes in giving back to the society by empowering and motivating young Women and giving them a chance to rub minds with the older women so they can hear their stories, learn from their mistakes and in turn, learn how to become better citizens of the country and the World over. Mrs. Olayinka Adamu (nee Dosunmu) popularly known as Yeancah has lived most of her adult life on Television literally. She is a renowned TV Personality.

Born Olayinka Dosunmu in the mid 80s, She started out making a mark in the modeling Industry as face of a handful of Products from Nestle, Chelsea dry gin to the now defunct Mtel Nigeria. Yeancah is an Industrial Relations graduate from the University of Lagos and she is most renowned for her job as Soundcity’s leading Female TV Presenter where she hosts and produces an array of TV Programmes like City Divas, Chat Room, Red Carpet Special and the authoritative countdown show - Top 10 Nigeria. She has carved a niche for herself with her hip, urban and vibrant persona on TV.

She has interviewed several A list Celebrities and several prominent people in and outside the Entertainment Industry including Akon, Lloyd - President of Coca Cola, Sisqo and a host of others. She has been on tour around Africa with artistes, Most notable was with P Square as well as working on the red carpet for big brands like Cocacola, Gordon Sparks, Smirnoff Ice, MTN to mention a few. Before her present job as producer and presenter with Soundcity/Spice TV, She was an actress taking part in a weekly TV Series that aired on Silverbird Television. Yeancah is a role model to many, a wife and mother of a daughter.

 Details of the 'War against Domestic Violence - the walk' and future project would be shared on Twitter via @lwtze and blog via: http://lwtze.blogspot.com.

NEWS | Zaaki Azzay's wife: My Husband not only beats me, forced me into terminating a pregnancy

Here's another touching case of battery by another famous man. Zaaki Azzay, the artiste behind 'Na who go marry am' is allegedly a wife beater.

Zaaki Azzay’s estranged wife, Hadiza says the musician is ‘a liar’; insisting he has a case to answer as regards battering and harassing her.

In an interview with Vanguard Newspapers, Hadiza accused Zaaki of beating her up severally both in public and at home.

‘All we’ve been doing is move from one rented apartment to the other. He would lie to the media that we travelled to the United States of America. I have only been to Cotonou in my entire life. Zaaki has only been to South Africa and that was courtesy GLO with ‘’Lagbaja’’ and ‘’Daddy Showkey’’. He has always been denied visa to America yet would lie to the media about a non-existing American trip’, she told the newspaper.

The final year student of history and international relations claimed that her husband not only beats her but also has at some point tried to force her into terminating a pregnancy.

The strained marriage is blessed with three female children aged seven, six and four respectively.

Zaaki in response to the allegations said he is somewhat happy that the matter has been made public but would leave it in the hands of the court to settle. - TheNetng

POETRY | Crazy Love

CRAZY LOVE | Shared by Yeancah

We make love with punches and kicks,
Make up with hugs and kisses,
This crazy whirlwind of ours,
That we call love,
Seems so strange,
Yet so familiar,
I find comfort in your rage,
Seek solace in your arms,
But you always bring me harm,
And I ask myself,
Am I crazy?
Have I lost my mind?
Or have I been hypnotised,
By this bestiality,
My beauty,
Seems to bring out the beast in you,
I thought they said love was true,
Guess whoever said that didn't think it through,
Cos our love is filled with violence,
A slap today,
A shove tomorrow,
You hurt me to my bone marrow,
My man, my anchor,
You're supposed to be my shield,
But you're the one who causes me pain,
You're driving me insane,
Yet I have to put on a happy face,
A fake smiley,
While inwardly I cry,
And ask, why me?
We hold hands together,
And people think we're the perfect couple,
How wrong they are,
I pity those who wish to be in my shoes,
What fools!
I beg to be let loose,
For of what use,
Are appearances to a ghost,
The society has chained me to you,
Cos they say it should be for better for worse,
I thought marriage was supposed to be fun,
Only now I know better,
It's an emotional prison,
And I wish to be set free,
Marriage should be a celebration of love,
Not a festival of hate,
I choose to live,
I choose to leave,
I'd rather have a dead marriage,
Than a dead body!

When your Boyfriend Wants to Break Up But you Don’t

by kalyani10 | Shared by Afeez

   
Love is a relationship where give and take rarely occurs in equal degrees. You may find someday that somewhere along the way your relationship has changed and your boyfriend is no longer the ardent lover he used to be.

Most women however continue to look the other way even when signs of a relationship falling apart are staring at them. Does your boyfriend break eye contact when you are speaking to him? Is he making a habit of putting off dates or appearing late for them and even while the two of you are together, does he fiddle with his phone or keep checking the time? While these signs may not mean anything once in a while, a regular pattern may be a sign that your boyfriend wants to get out of the relationship. But if you feel that he’s the man for you, here are some steps you can take to give your relationship a fighting chance.
Give him a break

Give him a break if he simply needs to have some time by himself. Men tend to be very protective of their private space. After a while in a relationship your boyfriend may feel that he is losing himself or getting overwhelmed with all things related to you. So if he expresses a desire to take a vacation by himself or take a job in a new city, give in calmly. He will not only appreciate the time-out but who knows, the days spent away from you may make him realize that he still wants to be with you.

Avoid chasing him
If he has indeed gone for a break, don’t keep calling or mailing him fifteen times a day. There is no need to reply to his messages within one-hundredth of a second of your receiving them. If you appear desperate to get him back, he will only move further away. Be aloof and act cool. Playing hard-to-get remains a time-tested way of hooking your man.
Stay in touch
 This point may appear to contradict the previous one but the two are really different matters. The idea is to keep a line of communication between the two of you open without getting frantic about if he is seeing somebody else. Don’t be in a rush to return his calls but if there are three messages from him waiting on your answering machine, call back to say a casual ‘hi’. This will leave him a way to return back to you without your appearing too desperate to get back together.
Grow as a person
Use the cooling off time to build up your personality. Learn new skills or pick up a hobby. Get involved in projects you have been meaning to in the past but had not found time for. These interests will not only enrich your life but help your boyfriend to realize that you have a life without him and believe me, nothing turns on a man as much as a confident, mature woman appreciated by the people around her.
 Improve your looks
 Make an effort to enhance your looks. Go for a makeover or simply a new hairstyle. Better still, go for a new workout routine and get in shape. The exercise will not only benefit your health but give you a fresh new look. Your boyfriend will be one of the first people to notice the change – even if he may not remark on it – and he may be impressed enough to want to stick around.
 Don’t be obsessed
Don’t obsess over the reasons why your boyfriend wants to break up. While it is a good idea to be aware of the grounds of differences between the two of you, over-analyzing things will lead you nowhere and get you even more depressed. And there is no turn off greater than a woman who goes around moping about what went wrong.
Keep away from destructive habits
 While is heartbreaking to see someone you love walk out on you, don’t let the incident wreck your life. Seeking refuge from the pain in alcohol, drugs and raucous company will not only destroy you physically and financially, but will merely give your boyfriend another reason to end the relationship.
Don’t change the person you are
Remember that your boyfriend fell in love with you for who you were in the first place and not because he saw a case for improvement. If he makes you feel that if only you were thinner or could speak French he may have loved you more, keep in mind that this is only his way of shrugging off the guilt over a break up. By all means examine your shortcomings and see if you can overcome them, but never let him make you feel inadequate or unworthy. There is no need to become a different person and once your boyfriend realizes your inner worth, he may fall in love with you all over again.
Work towards building your self-confidence
Be proud of other relationships where you are loved and cherished as a daughter, sister, friend or mentor. Prove your worth in your work and take pleasure in the fact that you are respected by your boss and co-workers. Get involved in community projects where your help will be valued. All these experiences will definitely turn into an assured, mature woman and your boyfriend will remain interested in what you have to offer.
There is no single guaranteed recipe to win back the love of your man, no matter what so many guide books tell you. What may bring another estranged couple together may not work for you simply because everywhere people, circumstances and the dynamics of a relationship are different. So when you find your boyfriend moving away and you feel you still love him, take a deep breath and set out on a journey which may require time and effort. Persevere but don’t despair, enhance yourself but don’t change who you are and eventually you may find that your love has come back to where he truly belongs – with you.

Dealing with Infidelity

by Louella Vaz | Shared by Afeez

   

When infidelity occurs, it is one of the most painful experiences a relationship will probably ever experience. When one partner is unfaithful, it can shatter a relationship and leave the other person wondering whether it is worth salvaging. Dealing with infidelity in a relationship requires tremendous resolve on the part of the betrayed party. How do you let go of the past? How do you justify or understand why your spouse felt the need to cheat on you? Knowing where to start is often the most difficult thing.

TIP: Download the Dealing with Infidelity in your Relationship Guide

Once the affair is out in the open, either because your partner has come clean, or you have found out, how will you go about resolving it? How you deal with infidelity in your relationship has a lot to do with your feelings about your partner and your marriage.

But the biggest issue in dealing with infidelity is, can you truly forgive? And can you manage to let go? It is easier to say you will overlook it but to really erase it from your memory is a very difficult thing. It will keep coming back to haunt you and you will need to deal with it.

In such situations where you feel you can never, ever trust the person again, it's best to make a clean break and get out of the relationship. You cannot live your life in flashback mode, and those who have been cheated upon often talk of the scene of the crime replaying itself when they are intimate with their partners, and they just can't go on.

Get advice on affairs and infidelity in the Futurescopes relationship forum

But in some cases, despite what your partner has put you through, you may still have very deep feelings for him/her. You may also feel that after five, ten or twenty years together you have a successful formula and it just needs a little tweaking. The affair was just a temporary aberration. Or maybe you're going to play the sacrificial lamb, and despite your feelings on the subject, you will give it another go because of larger considerations like the kids.

Assuming that despite the infidelity, both your partner and you have decided you still want to make your marriage work, there will be a lot of things to resolve.

1. If you've been cheated on

Give yourself time to work through your anger, resentment and hurt over the whole issue. Talk to your partner about it and let him know how let down you feel and how you will require time to heal.

If he hasn't already ended the affair or is dithering over it, give him an ultimatum . Be firm and let him know that you are willing to give it another try but he has to cut off all ties with his lover.

Discuss with your partner why he felt the need to stray. And beware, whatever happens, do not fall prey to letting the results of this discussion impact your self-esteem. Acknowledge that whatever needs your partner may have had that were not being met, he owed it to you to talk about it before resorting to cheating on you. After all, you may have also had certain needs that were unfulfilled, but you didn't have an affair, did you?

It may take some time for you to be intimate with him again and let him know that. Do not feel pushed into an intimate relationship for fear he might stray again. If that is the case, review your reasons for being in the relationship.

Focus on the positive aspects of your marriage and acknowledge that there may be problem areas in your relationship that need to be worked on. Introspect on how you will actively contribute towards helping to improve the quality of your relationship. Stop living in the past and letting it haunt you. Look to the future.

2. Set limits on inappropriate behavior

Make your partner understand that you have been willing to deal with his infidelity this time but you will not tolerate it happening ever again. There are non-negotiable boundaries that your partner has to respect if the relationship has a hope of surviving.

Together, both of you must reflect on the fact that you have decided to make a second attempt at your relationship and give it a fresh lease. Communicate and be transparent about your feelings and emotions. Make yourself available for the other, so that there is no question of looking elsewhere for emotional or physical intimacy. Do fun things together, enjoy each other's company. Marriage is a partnership, and to be successful, it involves understanding and making the other's desires a priority.

NEWS | Wazobia FM top OAP - Yaw allegedly hit his ex-girlfriend

I thought I share this news with you. The popular OAP, Yaw allegedly hit his ex-grilfriend but it took having him impregnating another woman to leave him. Read news report below:

According to new reports, the past of popular Nigerian On Air Personality (OAP) with Wazobia FM radio station on Victoria Island, Lagos, Steve Ýaw' Onu reveals that he was a womanbeater. Information revealed by a source, the most sought after radio presenters was alleged to have been in the habit of beating his one-time lover, Temitope Ojelade popularly known as Temmy while at Lagos State University (LASU). On several occasions, he hit Temmy over suspicions that she was cheating on him. Temmy and Yaw are said to have started dating in early 2000 while at LASU. Temmy was said to have once been ‘Miss Spotless’ in LASU while they were undergraduates. The beautiful undergraduate caught the attention of the then-undergraduate Yaw who made an advance at her and shortly after they started dating. TEmmy and Yaw allegedly went their separate ways after Yaw impregnated another woman. The affair became unrepairable for the lovers who had practically moved in as a couple. She broke down in tears and moved on. She is presently a graduate and holding a job with a Lagos-based firm - AmehDaily.

PLEASE HELP ME | The day I dined with the Devil

Anytime I hear his heavy footsteps approaching my door I get so scared and angry. The Monster is back to hound, maim and abuse me. It started when I was 12, an innocent girl with a bright future full of life and always cheerful. Suddenly my Mom came home that weekend with this gentle man who's from the eastern Part of Nigeria and she introduced her to me as her fiance. I didn't buy the idea in the first place because daddy just died 2 years back. I thought she owed him that respect to keep herself from every man but I decided to bottle it in and accept my fate. On my 13th birth Uncle Charles my step father bought me a gift and that was when I started seeing him more like my father than a bloody step father. On that day he told me he liked me more than my mom but I didn't really understand what he meant because mom was out of town. He told me he would like to tell me something then that was the day it all started.

I was raped by a beast to cap it all I was menstruating then but he didn't care about my condition. The bleeding was much and I could barely walk. My mom came back that weekend and noticed I couldn't walk properly but he told her I’d sprained my ankle in school. This has been happening for 8 years now and I'm finally pregnant for him. I'm lost and confused, my mom loves him so much and if I tell her she might die because she’s hypertensive and diabetic. Will I carry his baby in my womb because my mom as 2 kids from their marriage. Somebody please help me.....

I'm losing my mind and considering suicide. Please help before I do something stupid. Is there any one you can refer me too?

- Omololu Atila

TIP | 20 Good Questions to Ask Your Partner on Your First Date

Going for a first date can be pretty intimidating for most people. Your mind may be overcome with fears and insecurities. You may be afraid of rejection, failure, saying the wrong things and coming across like a loser in front of your date. In this context you would really love to know what are some good questions to ask your partner on your first date.

Though most of us have the capacity for smooth, easygoing conversation with friends and family we maybe tongue-tied on a first date. This could be a pretty embarrassing situation. You could take a hard copy of prepared list of questions, which is simply gauche and shows your lack of confidence and good manners.

On the other hand some men complain that women are ballistic, bombarding them with personal questions and often putting them on the defensive. Some women may be inquisitive by nature and may adopt a confrontational style on the first date itself. Men are advised to adopt humor to deflect such questions and women are asked to steer clear of such questions if they don’t want to see their first dates bolting at the slightest chance.

So, what are some good questions to be fielded around on a first date? Here are twenty such conversation ideas:

1) What is the sort of relationship you are looking for and why According to some relationship experts this is the most important question to ask on a first date. Once this is asked, it is out there, making it evident to you what you are getting into. You put your profile, on the dating site. In your profile you clearly mention that you are looking for a committed relationship. Now after you meet someone who is positive, you have to pop the big question nonchalantly into the conversation. Your tone must not be inquisitional or confrontational. After you get the answer you must double-check by asking, why? These are good questions on the first date because you don’t want to go on a boat ride with both of you rowing in opposite directions.

2) What do you think is the biggest mistake that men/women make in their relationships? The answer to this question will reveal what turns him/her off about people and what are his/ her ideas about men and women.

3) What are the qualities of your ideal relationship This is one of the good questions to ask on a first date. Men and women reveal what they are looking for in life, what kind of relationships they expect out of each other and the marriages that they dream of.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken? The more attractive/defensive the person the more likely the answer will be, 'No'. But a majority of honest individuals will say 'Yes'. This reveals their humility.

5) What scares you the most about opening your heart to your partner? This is a question to break the defenses of your date and lay his/ her feelings bare, so that you grow closer emotionally.

6) Has any book or movie made an impact on you? Book and movies are important influences of popular culture and you can have an interesting and animated discussion on books and movies that inspired or influenced you. This is a good question to ask on a first date..

7) What is the most annoying thing that someone could do to you? You could share a laugh about what annoys you in other people and get to know others likes/ dislikes better.

8) If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? This helps you discover what drives him or her - money/ adrenaline/domestic bliss.

9) What do you like to do for fun? This will help you to know if you can share leisure activities. Also, whether he/she is an indoor/ outdoor person.

10) What is the biggest mistake that people make on a first date? Lets you into trade secrets of the opposite gender.

11) What do you look for in a guy/ girl? These questions, along with the previous, one are good questions to ask on a first date. It will reveal the dreams and romantic aspirations of the person… But some may deflect honest answers by saying the usual, like," Good looks, sense of humor". etc.

12) Define a truly successful relationship An ideal answer would be one where both men. as well as women share responsibility/credit for success.

13) What happened with your last relationship? You can look for danger signs like blaming and whining rather than owning up half the responsibility for a doomed relationship, which reveals a lot about the person’s nature.

Here are some unique, fun and good questions to ask on your first date: 14) What were your life-changing moments? 15) What is the weirdest thing about you? 16) Are you cheap or thrifty? 17) Which is the one book that has really impressed you? 18) Would you have plastic surgery done on your body? 19) What was your most embarrassing moment? And 20) Tell me about your family/ best friend.

These are some good questions to break the ice on your first date and lead you to possibly a second, third and more dates. After a few dates, the conversation will flow smoothly!!

Photo credit: whoucallinabitch.com