Sunday, July 29, 2012

REAL LIFE STORY #1 | Honeymoon ended the day after we were married

The honeymoon period ended the day after we were married -- six months from when we first met. Dehinde is about six foot and about 225 pounds in weight. I'm five foot four and 100 pounds. He grabbed me by the waist and lifted me up against the wall. He grabbed my hands and bent them backward, breaking one of my fingers. I was in shock. I was stunned. But I didn't leave. A few hours after the incident, He broke into tears and told me how sorry he was. I loved him so much, so I believed him when he said it wouldn't happen again. But life became hell after that. For the next two months the abuse was nonstop. He kept me in a constant state of terror. I'm not a drinker, but he'd toss a bottle of beer in my face and say drink. He'd punch me in the stomach or kick me in the thigh if I didn't. I started walking on tiptoes around him, fearful of everything I'd say and do. But it didn't matter; the abuse continued. He dislocated my shoulder several times. He'd lift me up by the ankles and bang my head against the floor in the living room. A part of me wanted to leave, but another part of me hesitated. Somehow I felt I was partially responsible for the abuse. If I hadn't made a particular comment or if I had just sipped the alcohol everything would have been OK. And for the first few months he was apologetic after the beatings. He'd say he felt very bad and that he didn't mean to hit me so hard. He'd actually cry sometimes cry and show such remorse that I'd forget my own pain. He'd become romantic and sweet, and I'd fall in love with him all over again. I started to isolate myself from friends and family. I didn't want them to know about the violence. I put on a happy face with my two kids and tried to act like things were fine. They knew about the violence but didn't know the severity. When my mom wanted to see me, I'd lie, saying I was busy. I didn't want her to see my bruises. I was embarrassed. Sadly, The abuse worsened. The rapes began about two months after we were married. I was dressing for work when He came out of the shower and asked me where I was going. He didn't wait for my answer. He threw me on the bed, sat on my stomach, pinned my arms up beside my head and ripped off my clothes. "If you want sex, wait until I get home tonight," I said. "You'll do it when I want, and how I want," was his response. It got worse after that. He would tie me up and put foreign objects such as necks of beer bottles into my vagina. Five months into the marriage I endured beating after beating. While most of the assaults were done when my children weren't home. I was worried that they might step in and try to protect me. If they did, they might get beaten, too. I began plotting our escape, but it was difficult. He had begun making threatening comments: "You can never get far enough away from me. I will always find you. If I can't have you, no one will." I felt trapped. How I left? HE had disappeared for three days. I didn't know where he was. I thought he had been in an accident. I called his phone, he would answer but not say anything. He arrived home on the third night at about 1 a.m. and immediately started screaming at me that he didn't appreciate me trying to track him down. We were in the sitting room and he grabbed the landphone receiver and began to beat me in the face with it. His eyes were red and flashing like I'd never seen before. I ran to the bedroom, and he was right behind me. He picked me up over his head and threw me across the room twice. I broke my tailbone in the second fall. My 6-year-old daughter woke up. She must have heard something and came to see what was happening. She just stood there, stunned. He looked at her and got scared for some reason. He went into the bathroom to pack his things. I found my phone, fighting the pain from the broken bone, limped to the living room, I then called my father since then I have not set my eyes on Dehinde

21 comments:

Unknown said...

Rather sad story... Too bad there was no details of Dehinde cos I would have personally track him down so he doesn't do this to another human!

Seun O said...

This man is inhumane. you should have the police pick him up

Bckuf said...

This is pure evil and a very sad traumatic experience. You should please seek comfort from God. It won't be easy but you shouldn't let this sad ordeal draw you from moving forward. Concentrate and take care of your kids and also move much more closer to your fam, am sure you've got a good one, there's nothing like ones family. You can only live once babe, don't let any man kill that spirit.

Thanks to LWTZE for this sort of avenue, we need more awareness like this as so many people are out there going through similar ordeal.... They need some Love from US!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow...sorry u had to go thru all of this! I'm glad he left on his own, dat was God working. Now all u need to do is concentrate on u n ur kids n pray for God's guidance. Nice one yeancah

Shanae said...

Seriously, how can a man that loves you do this to you. I'd blame the woman too. #Hardtruth

Anonymous said...

Pls leave the house ,he may come back and do worse

Anonymous said...

Really sad to read this, I would say please run for your life and keep running - BUT, it also left me quite confused... when did the '2 kids' come into the pic? Or are to take it that the lady stayed at least 7.5 years through all this? Most of the assault / rape was said to start from a day after marriage, which incidentally was 6mths after they met so clearly the kids weren't born b4 then except they aren't his kids. Anyway, I know that's not the point but like I said I got rather confused and thought to also say so....

Anonymous said...

She gave birth before they were married.

De_Tboz said...

"Perhaps, this is not what she wished for herself before she found herself hooked in the dark tunnel. Her hopes, greatest dreams, inspiration are all shattered and now she lives in anguish,guilt,anger and grieve, she lives the darkness of her fear, she is caught up in the middle of the storm of her life, she can't seems to find her way out of the tunnel and the burden of life is getting heavier and heavier on her. She hopes the sun will shine on her gain and that the torment will stop". I feel the ordeal you must have been through, life has been so unfair to you but you have conquered and to conquer is to live again, never look back, keep faith alive in you and look up to God he never fails.

About 65% of women are living an objectionable and agonizing relationship. It's a good privilege that LWTZE is organizing a forum that will progressively dissolve the threat women are facing not only in this country but in diaspora if i must say. This is truly a humanitarian service that has to be won.

Unknown said...

Well...pls I need his photo. For gunning down purposes. Thank you. But some women can love shaaaaaaa! But she is stupid. Did dey ttie bandana for ur face befor u marry am. Abi u wan tell me say he appeared n marry u. U love jonzing n paid the price.as for dehinde, (exhaaaaaaaale)..I need his photograph. Dnt blame him. Bt at the same time pepu waiit o,he cannot be a mad man js overnight the lady too must be responsible for some lil silly things that dehindes temperant threshold could not hold back. Bt dehinde really went far. His photo pleeeeease....T-izze

jayne said...

Dat dehinde must b an animal nt a human being,y shld a man beat his wife in d first plc,I must confess dat we women av a way of pissin guys off bt deir r beta ways 2 handle a lady oda dan beatin her,wen a guy beat u once nd calls it a mistake,ma dear d second tym it repeats itsef u had beta quit such relatnship or marriage.I ll rada b single nd nt married dat 2 search nd find dehinde 4 a husband.

Babatunde Ogunyebi said...

It is really saddening and worrisome, the level at which some men "panel-beat" women. I used to think stories like these were fabricated, until I saw something like this happen to a very good friend of mine. They weren't even married, they were in a relationship and the guy messed her up bigtime. I still have a picture of the battered face of the girl on my phone(wish I could share it). Ladies, please learn to call it quit, if he sees u as his punching bag. if not, he will send you to the grave soonest. I hope we all learn from Arowolo's case. Know him well before getting married to him.

palominose said...

One thing about women in this part of †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ world is we see whatever comes with marraige as a cross and a burden we must bear.
So u endured this for how long? Where u waiting for him to kill u before u took a walk?
Anyway thank God he has disappered, don't take him back o biko!! Not minding †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ level of remorse he is at when he returns God has delivered u from †̥ђε̲̣̣̣̥ hands of a monster.
Take care of ur kids and forget about him

Dammy said...

I feel so sorry for this lady but d truth is dat there r so many Dehinde's out there in our faces that we do not even know or suspect so every single lady should be very watchful of exhibits of short temper, sudden outburst of anger and so on. When a person says words like "If I can't have u, then nobody can",it simply means that he is far from been in love with you rather he is obsessed d with you and obsession is actually a psychological disorder so u had better run 4 ur life. When a man hit's u once he's likely not going 2 stop so now dat u r away from him it's best u don't take him back or u'd b dead d next minute you take him back. That's d little money I have 2 lend peepz

Anonymous said...

Women shld be able to stand up for violence nd run rather than hope their men wld change pls pick up urself nd start a new life without dehinde

AdeywealthWorld said...

OMG!!! This one is really Apaniyan(mankiller) can u imagine the way is treating a lady, his legal wife that matter, this should serves as lesson to all ladies to watch well before they will lay down their lives to someone who does not care abt them....Dis Dehinde really needs to be killed by firing squard !!!

Anonymous said...

The women in the photo is my best friend & has never been married & has not been beaten by any man as she is too strong a women to stay with somebody who would do something like that. This story was obviously made up by a very sick fuck & shame on them for using her photo & brining back a horrible memory for her.

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Unknown said...

Hey, it was so painful to read these words. I cant imagine the stress you must have been.